Nix-Achlys

I am six feet under Screaming and crying Impulses arise I am risking death I have no control I’m in love with my morose Roses are massacred Every petal wilted Thorns are covered in blood Nothing to hold me back I am up, getting higher Smoke within the clouds Lighting the fire Sending the ground ablaze Remembering why I lost control of myself There are two sides of me: Euphoria and Despair I can be the sun Shining bright in the sky I can be the moon Hiding within the darkness There is nothing to stop me From my mania and sorrow I may be a hurricane or a tornado In the eye of the storm I am calm amidst the violent risks Nothing to stop me Except for one thing I need the toxin to keep me safe Keep me out of harm’s reach Keep making me euphoric But not covered with violent risks Keep my mania safe Bring on the pressure Pressure me to keep calm But make me stay in love with pain I want to be masochistic With your toxins By making me hurt more Bring your poison to me Let me go to sleep So I

I never knew that this would be possible for me. Being diagnosed with both borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder is nothing but hell for me. People say that both BPD and bipolar are somewhat the same. Well, guess what? They are most certainly not. From what I learned from my psychiatrist is that borderline personality disorder is a mood disorder that causes erratic changes in my moods, whereas bipolar disorder is when I suffer cyclic periods of mania and depression at certain times. It wasn’t until less than a year ago that it was possible to be diagnosed with both BPD and bipolar. Ever since then, my world has turned upside down. When I was 22, I was first diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. From my past experiences, I suffer from drastic mood changes. I was full of joy and then sadness seconds later. What I suffer from the most is anger. Everything around me makes me angry, and that is when I get triggered most of the time. When I see couples

Every day I get rejected Once or twice I was neglected Eating only ketchup spaghetti and ramen Living without a man or a woman My budget is a shoestring I don’t always have everything Every day there is no rainbow As I stare out the window There is no technicolor TV All I have is a black and white screen Mom and Dad are not home So I am all home alone You don’t know me I get rejected by cupid I’m surrounded by everything stupid Everybody is a jerk with might I can’t even work at night Living on change and limited cash Surviving on instant potato mash Surrounded by annoying laughter There are people I wish to slaughter Reading only worn paperbacks People come to me to attack Yeah, you don’t know me You have no idea where I’ve been Every day I think about Death I wonder about taking meth Survival of the fittest, sink or swim I lose at everything, I cannot win Sleeping on the yoga mat My only company is my cat Someday, I may be rich Problem is: Life is a bitch My plate is filled with

Mania It’s just an ordinary early afternoon day for the Hyper Force. Nothing but the cloudless sunshine in the skies and all the people around them doing their daily routines around the streets. Sprx, Otto, Antauri, and Gibson are all strolling together after their trip from a fast-food restaurant; Sprx and Otto both ordered burgers, fries, and soda while Antauri and Gibson both ordered salads and juice. As they held on to their own paper takeout bags and drinking cups on their way home, they were just having a conversation with one another, just some stereotypical guy-talk. “And then I said,” Sprx says to the others, “’Kid, you can never pull off that milk crate challenge on TikTok, stick to the cinnamon challenge!’” Otto laughs along with Sprx at the thought, but for both Antauri and Gibson, they don’t really find this amusing. Gibson takes a sip from his drink through a straw, “There’s nothing funny about those TikTok challenges, do